( What Ardent Wrote. )

Is this really all you stupid humans can think to write about?

No wonder words were wasted on you.

I don't hate humans, by the way. Nor Roundworlders. Humans only have a habit of getting in the way of my plans, and usually, they're Watchmen, and it's to be expected. I just really hate it here, and really hate being in a world which doesn't ( Read more... )

And there was me thinking I'd have to wait for the Diamond Troll King to come persuade the Watch to let me go.

No offence to the watchman. I just expected the pathetic attempt to make me empathise with a dumb, drugged-up Troll to go the whole distance.

For the record. If I kill someone, I cover my tracks.

[Private to Narvin]Alright ( Read more... )

Alright, I have an apology for... whoever was the dragon. I would have done it yesterday, but I wasn't running the risk of getting talked to by pathetic excuses for Dwarfs. Last time was bad enough ( Read more... )

Narvin!

Want to come and see an alien's underground lair? It's fascinating, I'm sure you'll agree, and nice and safe from all those humans outside. Please tell me you went to dinner.

Serves me right for thinking Time Lords were just born stuck up and about fifty.[He switches to video ( Read more... )

I see no influx of Dwarfs or Trolls, so it is safe to assume the Admiral has ignored Koom Valley Day. I am mostly relieved. I don't want his dirty hands in my holy day. It does confirm my general suspicions of this place, though, and it's cultural biases ( Read more... )

[Ardent is sat calmly, in his room, with most of the candles lit. It's dim, but brighter than usual. His fingers are carefully pensed, and he thinks for a moment before looking into the camera and speaking ( Read more... )

( A public letter to Santa. )

[Video. For once, it's in the light. Ardent is looking rather derisively at a piece of tinsel. Not that you can tell, he's got his hood up. Before hanging it over a branch of the tree anyway.]

Humans are so... gaudy. [He picks up a bauble and tosses it aside,] I don't appreciate being made to participate ( Read more... )